Traditional To Modern PUNJABI Wedding Rituals And Customs In Detail ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਵਿਆਹ ਦੇ ਰਸਮ ਰਿਵਾਜ਼ ਵਿਆਖਿਆ ਸਾਹਿਤ
Punjabi culture known for its unique lifestyle and traditional rituals. As punjabi peoples are of generous behaviour, loud attentiveness of life, high morals. When it comes to marriage, there are so many traditional customs and rituals they follow to complete a particular ceremony, which include their unique costumes, traditional makeup and their cultural folk dance snd folk songs. In this post I am exploring the culture and rituals of punjabi weddings step by step. After the consent of both side(boy and girl) families , series of wedding rituals get start.
In this post I am explaining all traditional punjabi wedding customs by differentiating with modern style.
Roka Ceremony / Thaka :
This is the first wedding custom implement by punjabi peoples during punjabi weddings. In this girl side family send one ruppee coin with some dryfruits( cashew, almond, coconut, dates) and laddu(sweets) to the boy side family by naayi( a speacial person entrusted for wedding tasks) to final the decision of marriage. Boy and girl cannot take other proposals anymore after this function. it means now onwards the relation of both person consider as valid .
But now it changes as one ruppee is replaced by hundreds or thousands and other materialistic things.
Kudmayi / Sgayi /Mangni / Ring Cremony:
After getting the relation final, mangni is the most important ceremony to get officially engaged, which we call ring ceremony. In traditional times kudmayi of girl and boy done seperately by sending fruits, one or five ruppee coin, dry fruits nuts( for both boy and girl) red suit and prandi for girls by naayi . In old times rather exchanging rings ,boy wear clothes bring by naayi from girl side and girl wear prandi (hair ornament) come from boy side family. Girl was supposed to wear prandi till it get ripped and dull. Relative and family members start giving them shagun of nut fruits(dry dates, almonds,elaichi dana) to boy/girl.
Now days ring ceremony is performed collectively by inviting the relatives of boy and girl together. where bride and groom exchange rings of each other. Many people perform chunni ceremony and ring ceremony both at one time.
Saha Chithi:
After getting officially engaged, both families decide the date of marriage in their own place by inviting the close relatives and friends. We should choose the wedding date by reviewing the gap of Eight, Ten or Fifteen days so that wedding preperation could be done smoothly . After reaching on one specific date and month, shaha chithi (invitation letter) is send to each other 's sides(boy and girl) by surround it with turmuric, rice, dhub and khamni and hand over to "naayi"( an entrusted person) . This letter is opened in front of all family members and relatives of each side.
After this step boy and girl not allowed to step out of house with friends and stop working outside, they need to stay in home after arriving this letter. This is called " Sahe Lat Bananha" in punjabi language.
Kadhai Chdona Punjabi Ritual:
This is performed by the mother of person before seven or nine days of marriage. In this function she prepare "sweet gulgule" and take it to her parents home (maternal home of bride/groom) and tell them the date of marriage and invite them.This means all type of preperation of maternal family of boy and girl begin which include dowery, contribution from maternal parents and preperation of "nanki -shakk" for the marriage of girls and boys both.
From this day other ceremonies like wedding shopping, collection of groceries, making sweets at home which include( seerni, goggley, jalebi, badaana, bhujiya, shakarpaare) get start.
To start any work or at any auspicious occassion , punjabis believe to take blessings from Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Before starting all the rituals of punjabi wedding , three, five or seven days path is organised at home where we bring Guru Granth Sahib Ji at home. we can invite some relatives and friends on first day of path. Pathi sahib(religious head person ) start reading the path and everyone sit in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib ji and listen to the path.
If path is for three days or seven days, we can continue our work after giving our attendance in path. After completion of the path, Ardaas is done to take blessings of God on Family, bride,groom and request to God for accomplishing the wedding perfectly.
Then degh "kadah prashad" is given to everyone to eat.
Tie Mauli / Dhaga banana
Mauli is the red colored sacred thread tied on the wrist of boy and girl to keep them safe from bad things, illness , evil eye or untoward. This thread is the same thread bound surround the silver gadbi (degchi) placed in front of Guru Granth Sahib Ji at the time of akhand path. This thread is tied till the completion of marriage . Mauli is opened on the second day of marriage by bride and groom.
Haldi/ Vatna Ceremony:
This custom relates to enhance the beauty of bride and groom.Vatna is traditional name of haldi. In this a paste is prepared by mixing turmeric powder, musturd oil and water . This ceremony is all about to apply the paste onto face, legs, feet, arms , hands and the flicks of hair of the boy and girl with bunch of grass ,at morning and evening time.
Vatna begin 3 days before the marriage for girls and 5 days for boys and continue repeat till the jaggo day. it is performed by inviting friend and families together at their own home. Girl or boy sit under the cover of chunni / chandoya, holding each corner by four girls and then every person apply vatna to boy/girl one by one. while other ladies standing around bride/groom sung their folk songs of vatna ceremony.
Gauna / Ladies Function:
This function is all about singing folk punjabi songs by ladies and girls at evening or morning and do gidha(folk dance of punjabi girls) every day start from vatna ceremony. All ladies of families, friends, relatives start get toghether at one place and enjoy gauna / ladies function. This custom include " sithniya suhaag and ghorhian" speacial songs for bride and groom.
SITHNIAN is a type of folk music including taunts, speacially sung on wedding different ceremonies . It include the taunts for other side relatives like " mama" " bhua" "masadh".
GHODHIAN folk song realates to the groom, which include his lifestyle, superiority, bravery, strength, hardworking etc.
SUHAAG relates to bride which include her beauty, nature, lifestyle, morals etc. At last mauli( red thread with some tiny bells to bind on wrist) and mehandi is distributed among ladies for the marriage.
Mehandi Ceremony:
Mehandi ceremony performed two days before marriage. Red color is the sign of good omen in punjabi culture. Mehandi is considered as good symbol to start the colorful married life of bride and groom . In this function mehandi cones distribute among the friends of bride and other ladies to decorate the hands. All girls and ladies start carving mehandi designs on hand while singing mehandi songs . Mehandi is applied on hands , feets and arms and legs of the bride. As mehandi have some medical properties also, it help the bride and groom to relieve from stress .
Mehandi needs to keep on hands and other parts till the time it gets dry to acheive the beautyful orange red color. You can remove it by luke-warm water .
Nanka Mel / Nanki Shakk:
Nanka mel is called nanka because this is the group of relatives comes from the maternal side of bride or groom. They are speacial guests for both sides. Nanka mel comes on the evening of one day before marriage. They bring their part of clothes, peti, utensils, furniture , fruits and nuts, blankets, jwellery etc for their Niece or Nephew. They also bring some clothing sets for the family and grandparents of bride or groom.
In short words, maternal parents contribute half of the full wedding expense, but mostly they do their half contribution on the marriage of their elder niece or nephew.
This is most joyful event when nanka mel entering the place, they were warmly welcome by grandparents side, arrange tea-party and dinner party and nanka mel reside there until the completion of marriage. They tease each other through folk songs "sithnian" and both side ladies do gidha and thus the event forwarded to jaggo function.
Kalire Ceremony:
Kalire are the hanging braceletes wear on the wrist of bride. It is given by the sisters and friends of bride which is the symbol of their memories in her parental home. Bride put kalire on jaggo function and wear them till second day of marriage. Afte that she keep it with her . Modern kalire are of golden or silver colored metallic curved cups with hanging chains decorated with leafs and beads.
Tradition kalire was madeup of curved coconut cups and hanging chains of mimosa sugar balls,flower leafs, walnuts, lotus seeds and adorn with flowers. Then we attach the kalire to the chuda of bride.
After vatna girl tinkle the kalire on the head of her cousins, friends and sisters who want to get married soon.
Jaggo Function:
jaggo is the last stage of "vatna" ceremony which was intiated before three or five days. it is celeberated one day before marriage at night after last vatna. After applying vatna last time, jaggo is prepared by having two matka type jars with candles and fairylights and hold it on the head of the bride or groom. Everyone get ready for this party with beautyful dresses(punjabi suits) for girls and (kurta pajama) for boys. Jaggo is tranfered from own home to the house of any close friend or other family house and then come back from there at home.
After arriving home, night dj party get start, where everyone gets a chance to enjoy every moment. This function is most joyful function of wedding ceremonies.
Bathing Of Groom Ritual:
At the morning on wedding day, its the responsibility of mama (his maternal uncle) to wake him up. As per traditional rituals , first mama bring the groom and let him sit on the fatti(wooden box to sit) in lobby area . Mother or aunt of the groom clean his hairs and face by curd, milk and turmuric paste. Other married ladies of family and relatives standing around him sing some folk songs of wedding day while he take bath by wearing lower.This ritual is for having natural glow on the face and hairs all day. Then groom is allowed for taking bath by himself privately.
Wear Sehra / Kalgi For Groom :
Sehra and kalgi is the forehead decorating piece for groom given by his maternal uncle. Sehra is binding band with hanging chaings. Kalgi is the feather ornament toset on the top of turban to decorate the turban. Sisters of the groom perform this ceremony by setup the sehra and kalgi on his forehead. After bathing groom gets ready by wearing same attaire given by his maternal uncle. But in modern weddings, there is no compulsion of wearing clothes given by the maternal uncle.
Chudda ceremony is performed by maternal parents of girl. Either she can wear chuda one day before after jaggo or on wedding day at morning. First chuda is purified by dipping it in the milk then wear it on both sides on wrist of the bride. Chuda is the combination of red bangle by mixing few white bangles. Chuda is the symbol of a married girl. As red color is the symbol od good -omen , so her mama (maternal uncle) bring it for his niece as a gift , so that she always have happiness and colorful life around her. According to traditional beliefs, girl should wear chuda at least one and half month and at most one to three years.
Sarbala :
Sarbala is a kid or young person , it may be brother, nephew, cousin brother or friend who gets ready for the wedding by wearing same wedding attaire along withe the groom. The role of sarbala is to accompany the groom so that he cannot feel shy or alone. Sarbala act as the partner and caretaker of groom in the wedding . Role of sarbala is to help him with required thing when needed.
Giving Salami:
Salami is the type of shagun ,blessings given to the groom by all the relative, friends and family members present on wedding before departure of baraat. After getting ready , groom and sarbala sits on one place and everyone start the ceremony by giving them gifts, money, put on string of notes(haar) in neck of groom and give him best wishes and blessings one by one.
Ghodi Chadna / Surma Pauna Ceremony:
This custom is the wedding day custom for boy which indicate the departure of "barat". In old times groom was supposed to bring the bride at home on horse. But now ghorhi is replaced by expensive cars or other modern vehicles.
Bhabiya ( sister-in-laws) make the groom ready by lining the kajal (kohel) in his eyes to make his eyes beautyful and protect him from bad eye of peoples. Before this all relatives in place give some money as shagun in the lap of groom. Baraat leave towards bride destination after giving presence in the praise of god .
Ardaas:
Ardaas is performed by pathi(elder religious men) after welcoming the baraat at bride side. We always believe in the presence of God before intiating new steps. Pathi sahib start reading the baani and everyone stand by closing hand and covering the head in respect of God. So in ardaas we all pray to God for the better relations of both sides, new happy life for bride and groom and pray for completing the wedding function succesfully and blessings for everyone.
Milni:
After reaching at the destination, the first event performed is milni. "Milni" means meeting or introducing each other . This is performed by men section of bride and groom side , present in the wedding in which all the relatives welcoming each other by putting haar( flower garlands) in neck , shaking hands and giving hugs together. Everyone comes in pairs for introduction as fathers of both sides, uncles of both side, grandparents of both sides. They meet each other and add some fun to this ceremony by lifting each other. After milni "baraat" is entering inside for tea and lunch .
Ribon-Cutting:
This event is fun and jolly event performed by the sisters of the bride . Girls (sisters) make a checkpoint by placing red colored ribon to stop the "baraat" to enter into the hall until they are not fulfilling their demand of money. Bride group and groom group argue with each other foe negotiation, tease each other and boys try to persuade them. After taking enough amount of money from groom, girls allow the "baraat" to enter the hall by feeding him sweet.
Chunni Ceremony:
The main person of chunni ceremony is sisters of the groom, who put on chunni on the head of bride to intiate a new relation of sister-in-law with her .In chunni ceremony ladies of groom side espeacially sister give the makeup essentials to the bride which include lipstick, kohel, sindhoor, red bangles, makeupbox and Red chunni. Sister of the groom apply a bit of this makeup and wore her red chunni. Some peoples prefer to give other gifts also like ring neckchain and suit . All family ladies from groom sides give her blessings and shagun as money.
Some peoples perform this ceremony along with kudmayi ceremony.
Ladies Milni:
Ladies milni is the introduction phase for the ladies section of bride side and groom side family and relatives. All ladies arrange a group and come for meeting one by one in pairs. Mothers of bride and groom come first followed by maamies(maternal aunts), chachies(aunt), Bhua (sister of father) , maasi (sister of mother) and more. Mother and maternal aunt of bride give gold earings or any other jwellery to the mother and maternal aunt of groom. other ladies exchange money and nuts(coconut ,cashews, raisins) in the dupatta of each other by giving hug together . All ladies comes in pairs like bhua with bhua, chachi with chachi.
Kanyadaan:
Kanyadaan ceremony is the process of entrust the daughter to groom. Before "anand karaj" ceremony , father of the bride give the cloth (dupatta) of groom in hand of his daughter. Which indicate the groom as a partner of her life. Bride have to hold the palla( dupatta part of groom) during "anand karaj" cremony. This indicate the union of both bride and groom. Brother of the bride put ring in the finger of groom. This is the symbol of a new relation of groom with them and they transfer their resposibilities towards their daughter to him.
Anand Karaj/ Phere / Laavan Ceremony:
Phere/ anand karaj is most important ritual of wedding function. In punjabis, we consider anand karaj ceremony in place of phere , in which bride and groom goes to gurudwara sahib and sit on the floor in the presense of Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Then bhai sahib start reading four "laavan" (wedding principals/ duties) one by one. By reading each " laav" bride and groom start making round around the Guru Granth Sahib Ji from left to right direction ,where bride hold the palu(edge of dupatta wore by groom) and repeat this same procedure upto fourth "laav". After completing fourth "laavan" pathi sahib read Ardaas and pray for binding this relationship always and decleared them officially married. Then everyone take the prashad and congratulate each other.
After this ceremony, the marriage is officially done.
Jutti Chupauna:
This is the joyful event between the girls from bride side and groom, where girls tease their "jija" (groom) by stealing his footwear (jutti). Girls hide the footwear of groom and demands the money to return it to him. Where boys from groom side make fun arguement with the girls to return it. when groom give their demanding money , then they return their footwear.
Jaimala:
This ceremony is perform between bride and groom which include to put on garland of flowers on the neck of each other . sindoor daan and mangalsutar ritual is also performed in hindu culture. In sindoor daan groom lines dry red colored pigment in the middle partition of the hair of bride, which indicate their new relation as husband wife. Mangalsutar is the speacial necklace to put on the neck of bride by the groom which is considered to bind their wedding bond for seven lifes.
Vri And Khat:
It is the time to stop dowry system as it create many social problems like physical abuse of women, lift selfishness of in-laws, impossible to afford for poor class. we should raise voice againt people who forcefully demanding dowry.
Doli / Vidayi:
Doli or vidayi is very emotional stage of wedding function. Vidayi is the ritual of leaving the parental house by the bride. This is the last function in bride home. Vidayi ceremony make the bride seperate from her parental house. Family and friends of the bride give her last hugs and blessings. Bride throw the rice, sugar and sweet mkhane over her head to back, which indicate her wish of prosperity and happiness for her parental home. Then brothers of the bride slide the car of the groom slowly with hands and let their sister to leave.
Pani-varna:
Paani varna ceremony is the event performed by the mother of groom for the welcoming of bride. she stand in the door with some other ladies waiting for bride and groom. She take some sweets ,diva(light holder) and water in the handi(wide mouthed vessel) in hand . By arriving of the bride and groom, she feed them sweets and start twirl the handi ups and down infront of them 7 times in circular motion and drink it at each twirl. which indicate her intention to drink all the sufferings, distress and sorrows of them.
where bride or groom need to stop her to drink by holding the handi. After seven time roaming the handi, she let the bride and groom to enter in the home.
Muh Dikhayi:
Muh dikhayi means showing the face from vail of the bride. All the ladies from family and relatives see her face by removing her vail and give shagun and blessings to bride .
Sit In The Lap / Godh Parri:
This ritual is performed to welcome the bride in the new family after muh dikhayi. This is done between the bride and brother -in laws( younger brothers of groom) of her. This task bring some funny moments as brothers have to sit in the lap of their (bhabhi). Bride feed them a sweet dish and they demands money to get-off from lap.They make some funny moments and task comes to end after getting money.
Kangna Khelna:
This is performed post wedding at evening on the wedding day. Some peoples enjoy it on the second day in-laws home. This is a kind of compitition of finding ring in the "paraat"(High hipped platter utensil) full of milk , petals of rose and many rings other than actual ring. Bride and groom have to find the ring first to win. it is repeated seven times where realtives and friends cheers them up by clapping. At last who find the ring more times, will win.
It is considered ,the person who will win, have the control on partner in future.
THESE are -Traditional Ornaments Of PUNJABI Bride >>>
Second Day Of Wedding / Gathan Kholna Ceremony:
Second day bride and groom goes to place of martyr, ancestors or any religion place for worship. Here bride and groom open the mauli tied(sacred thread) of each other what was tied at the first vatna . "gathan kholna " is the punjabi meaning of opening the thread. Ladies of the family tease them by their folk songs.You can worship the "tulsi" plant also. Some people also play "chattian" where bride and groom hit each other seven times by stick.
Peti Khulayi :
Peti khulayi wedding ritual is mostly implement in punjab. On Third day of marriage , In-laws send the bride to her parental home to meet them. Brother of the bride come to her in laws and take her with him. Before leaving to parental home "dikhava" ritual is performed ,which means to open the peti(big storage trunk) and showing the stuff given by her parents to the family members. Sister of the groom get a chance to take her favourite suit from the petti.
Pag -Phera Ceremony:
As the name resembles , bride is supposed to give phera in her parental home. It means after peti khulayi bride and groom goes to her parental home. They take gifts "Mundiyan and Challe" (Silver Finger Rings) for the sisters/cousin friends of the bride .Where they are warmly welcome by the whole family and had a great lunch time together and give some gifts for them and their family. After spending time with family and friends bride and groom return to their home.
Chulla Chdayi:
Chula chdayi ritual performed after one week of marriage. From this day bride needs to take part in kitchen work. In this custom, bride enter first time into the kitchen of in-laws and make some sweet dish. In punjabis sweet rice called "jarda chowl" or mithi -roti( sweet bread of wheat) is prepared by bride and serve to whole family.
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